Russia’s Putin ‘Probing’ NATO Suck-Ups and Sissies
Reports from The Telegraph and authors James Rothwell and Roland Oliphant tell the harrowing tale of Russian Vladimir Putin personally probing NATO’s defenses. According to “security chiefs” somewhere in London, Sweden, or the Baltic States, “Vladimir Putin is testing NATO borders for weak spots.” Heaven forbids (the liberal order) Russian leaders from gathering intelligence on aggressive states. The following is the story’s comic book (or RAND report) version.
Allegations and Dramatic Imagery
The Telegraph report is supported by former Ukrainian MP Aliona Hlivco, who is looking into her crystal ball. The Managing Director of the Henry Jackson Society, Aliona Hlivco, has reportedly seen Putin stabbing a fixed bayonet from a Kalashnikov across foggy borders into Baltic territory. President Putin’s vicious thrusts into NATO territory are further evidenced by girlish screams from the other end of Putin’s weapon. Meanwhile, the latest assessments suggest the NATO borders up North are safe. This is proven by the constant and relentless whining of former MPs and Washington think tank geniuses.
As ridiculous as this all sounds, what else could the “logical” answer to the Baltic hysteria? Some analysts even think the EU, London, and Washington leaders are so worried that they’ve taken up defensive positions along these borders. Observers said the Russian presid
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