Coffee Hour With the Feds
It has come to this granny’s attention that our sweet coffee hours might be infiltrated by the Feds, guardians of our noble democracy. We know this is for our own protection. An FBI whistleblower warned us of the Bureau’s plans to intensify “assessment” and “mitigation” of Radical Traditionalist Catholics. And where would this assessment be conducted except at Mass and over donuts?
How do you “mitigate” a group of people? Oh, but it’s only the radicals—so not to worry. But who are the radicals we are to fear?
I don’t know any, but I think it is prudent, nowadays, for the rest of us to practice guardianship of the tongue and custody of the eyes when we gather after Mass.
But we shouldn’t use patriarchal terms like “guardian,” or triggering police terminology like “custody.” So maybe just keep your mouth shut and your gaze averted. That’s not suspicious. Sip your coffee and don’t go for the white powdered donuts. In fact, don’t go for anything white. White should never be a preference.
I do not trust that the Feds will notice the great diversity among our large extended families. The 10 half-Asian nieces and nephews and the four half-black grand nieces and nephews in my large extended family should show positive on my “diversity” score card. And I see similar tre
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