Super Bowl CNN Reporter Calls Cops on Maskless People in Tampa
Hello, this is 911, Tampa police.
O the horror!
What?
This is CNN Karen. I’m a reporter covering the Super Bowl. I’m near the stadium and people are sitting in cafes without masks! The horror!
Not wearing masks?
Dozens of them. Hundreds. I’m filming them, so you can hunt them down.
Are you wearing a mask, Karen?
I’m wearing two! To protect myself.
Try three.
What?
If two are better than one, three are better than two.
Is that a wisecrack? Because if it is, my network has connections all the way into the White House.
You mean Joe Biden will come down here and personally arrest me?
There are people standing in the street with drinks in their hands, and they aren’t wearing masks!
Are you aware the governor has issued an order against fining people for mask-less-ness?
No.
It’s true. You should do a little background research for your report. I understand it helps.
Who the hell is this?
I’m not permitted to give out my name, Karen. Rest assured, I’m a member of the Tampa police.
Did you vote for Trump?
I voted for the man in the moon, on a write-in ballot. I’m a registered independent. Let me ask you, Karen, are you in any physical danger at the moment?
No one has approached me yet, but it could happen.
Why do you say that?
Because I’m a reporter.
We don’t automatically hate reporters in Florida. The state, in fact, has a number of newspapers. To say nothing of television channels. I believe CNN broadcasts to Floridians.
I’m going to skewer you.
I’m trembling, Karen.
We’re in the middle of a pandemic!
And you’re doing your duty as a snitch. Let me ask you another question, Karen. Do you have a family?
I don’t identify in that way.
Excuse me? We’re having a GENDER conversation now? How DO you identify, Karen?
None of your business!
Let’s see…I have your bio page on my screen. You’re 36, you live in Greenwich, Connecticut. Married, two children. Your husband is an investment banker. He’s probably looking for good deals for his clients. You know, distressed properties. Businesses that have been destroyed by the lockdowns. I’m sure he’s doing quite wel
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