You’re not a libertarian if…

…if you don’t support Sauron.

Sauron stands for progress and wants to get rid of all borders and divisions in Middle-Earth, encouraging free trade between all people. The isolationist elves, imperialistic Gondorians and parochial Rohirrim are fine with things just as they are, a divided Middle-Earth, where you do as you’re told and follow the orders of the unelected kings and queens.

(And don’t get me started on the Hobbits, they wouldn’t know freedom if it kicked them in the head. Talk about giving up a lot of freedom for a little security!)

Is it any surprise the elves want a Middle-Earth of closed borders, with no real communication and sharing of ideas between people? They keep their secrets, and that has netted them a nice comfortable living for millenia, screw everybody else. And don’t get me started on Gondor. The heirs to Númenor and lest you forget: It was Númenor that invaded Mordor and took Sauron prisoner. Their military subjugation of the east and south is well documented. Is it any wonder the Easterlings and Southrons hate them? Némenor’s imperialistic, anti-libertarian ways made them suffer, and the effects linger to this day.

If you don’t support Sauron, you’re not a real libertarian.